


An unnecessary heartbreak

by TropicalDepressionKatya



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, hey this is cliche but i like it, its kinda fun i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-21 12:01:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14915007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TropicalDepressionKatya/pseuds/TropicalDepressionKatya
Summary: The fact that Aquaria is in love with Brianna is clear to anyone who glances at her, but Brianna never talked about it, and Aquaria didn't either. So when Aquaria finally does confess her undying love to Brianna, hoping to get her happy ending, she is let down.But love is always right around the corner, it's just a matter of commitment and the want to make it work.





	1. The confession of undying love doesn't work like it does in the movies

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this will be a two chapter thing, and im pretty proud of what i have so far. it's fun, and im living for the cute banter that's going on. i hope you enjoy it as well! please let me know what you think! <3

“I like the color,” Aquaria wasn’t even looking at her hand, she was staring at Brianna, who was so much prettier than the color. 

“You do? It’s one of my favorites.” Brianna answered. She was focused on not messing up Aquaria’s nails. The tip of her tongue was sticking out, and Aquaria couldn’t help but stare and smile. 

“It probably suits you better than me,” Aquaria moved her hand to brush a piece of hair out of Brianna’s face. 

“Don’t move! I’ll mess it up.” 

“Okay, okay,” Aquaria chuckled, she felt at peace. “I won’t.” Brianna glanced at her, smiling. 

Aquaria knew that she was in love with Brianna. Brianna knew Aquaria was in love with her. Aquaria wasn’t sure if the older girl liked her back, though. Her not talking about it made it hurt even more. The unknown wasn’t a blessing, more like a painful curse. 

“There you go,” Brianna rolled over, out of the bed. “All set. Don’t mess it up, please.” 

“I would never,” Aquaria smiled, rolling on her back and flailing her hands, blowing on them as well, all while looking Brianna in the eye. 

“You’re a dork,” Brianna rolled her eyes as she put the nail polish away. “You’re lucky you’re cute.” 

“You think I’m cute?” 

“Objectively,” Brianna turned back around. “Yes.”

“What about not objectively?” Aquaria wiggled her eyebrows and Brianna rolled her eyes again. 

“You’re not a dork anymore, you’re like, annoying.” 

“Ah yes,” Aquaria smiled. “My professionalism.” 

“Don’t come for my thing, girl,” Brianna chuckled, sitting at the foot end of the bed. Aquaria smiled, stretching her legs so they were resting on Brianna’s lap. 

“You’re not annoying,” Aquaria pouted just slightly. “You’re cute and funny.” 

“Do you want me to prove that I can be annoying or?...” The older girl smiled, and Aquaria's heart did a thing she wouldn't be able to describe before she smiled. 

“Whatever,” Aquaria rolled her eyes, sitting up in Brianna’s bed. “Can you get me some water, please?”

“Am I your slave now?” Brianna asked amused, her fingers moving over Aquaria’s foot, making her giggle. 

“Wet nails,” She held her hot pink nails up. “Your own fault, really.” 

“Fine,” Brianna looked cute when she rolled her eyes. “But only once, asshole.” Aquaria watched as Brianna walked out of her room, her eyes trailing down to her butt. God, she was perfect. 

Aquaria leaned back against the headboard, looking at the picture that had been on Brianna’s nightstand for as long as she could remember. It was a picture of them together, when they were younger. They were on the beach, laughing. In the corner was another, smaller picture. It was placed there later. It was them about a year ago, pulling silly faces in a photo booth. Aquaria had the other photos. 

“Here, I got you your stupid water,” Brianna pretended to be annoyed, but Aquaria knew she wasn’t. Not really. 

“You’re adorable,” Aquaria said. “Do you want to go for ice cream later?” 

“Are you buying?” She sat down again, this time behind her desk, grabbing a compact to check her lipstick. 

“If you ask nicely.” 

“I painted your nails and brought you water,” Brianna turned around, grinning. “You’re buying me ice cream.” 

“You’re such a nice person.” Aquaria blew on her nails again. 

“I spent too much time with you, your habits are rubbing off on me.” 

“Are you calling me a bitch?” 

“Indirectly? Yes.” 

“I’m proud of you,” Aquaria rolled on her side, looking at Brianna, who was fixing her lipstick. “You should use your new, purple one.” 

“We’re going out for ice cream, it’s not Halloween.” 

“But you look adorable with it,” Aquaria whined. “Not that pink is bad.” 

“I’d hope not,” She closed the compact. “I’m guessing I need to drive?” 

“Very funny.” Aquaria rolled her eyes. “You also have to help me with my jacket.” 

“I didn’t know I was friends with a literal baby,” Brianna stated, but helped Aquaria anyway. The brunette smiled, kissing Brianna’s cheek, who blushed shaking her head with a laugh. 

“Asshole.” 

Brianna’s car smelled like pizza and pasta, but also like air freshener. The smell was weird, but it was something Aquaria had grown to like. 

“Any requests?” Brianna asked as she unlocked her phone for music. 

“Uhm, Lady Gaga. Honestly, why do you ask?” 

Brianna chuckled, looking through her playlist. Soon the two of them were laughing and singing along as they drove to the ice cream place they both loved. 

Aquaria was the first to hop out of the car, waiting for Brianna to join her. “So, you know what you want?” 

“The most expensive ice cream,” Brianna smiled, and Aquaria rolled her eyes. “Fine, vanilla and strawberries.” 

“Basic. Boring.” 

“I don’t judge your life decisions, do I?” Brianna shoved Aquaria as they walked through the open doors, making Aquaria bump against the doorframe. 

“Maybe not verbally.” Aquaria frowned. “I did use that word right, did I?” 

“Look, I don’t judge you for asking me that.” 

Aquaria chuckled, and ordered her own ice cream before she let Brianna order her boring ice cream. Soon, the two of them were sitting at a table near the freezer. 

“You’re honestly so basic? I’m embarrassed.” 

“Because snicker ice cream with mint and diet ice cream is so much better.” 

“At least it’s not basic,” Aquaria pointed out. “Let me taste, please.” 

Brianna didn’t argue, handing Aquaria the spoon. “Tastes like…” Aquaria frowned. “A basic decision.” 

Brianna laughed, pushing some of the ice cream against Aquaria’s face. “I hate you and your bad jokes.” 

“See, you’re only hanging out with me for my money.” 

“You finished college two years ago, you don’t have money, you fool.” 

It was moments like these that made Aquaria forget everything and just made her happy. Brianna made her happy. She was never nervous around her, knowing she wouldn’t get judged. Knowing that Brianna was her safe place. 

“So you want to stay for pizza and a movie or do you suddenly have other friends?” 

“Pfff,” Aquaria rolled her eyes. “‘Other friends’, unrealistic. You know which pizza I want.” 

Brianna chuckled, finishing her ice cream. “You’re lucky I think you’re okay.” 

“Just okay?” 

“I was being generous with ‘okay’, take it or your heart will get crushed.” 

“You’re like, the best friend a girl could wish for.” Aquaria rolled her eyes, shaking her head. 

“Are you done? You promised to help me sort out my closet. You’ve been at my house since ten in the morning and we’ve don’t literally everything except that.” 

“I’m just too much fun to be cleaning a closet,” Aquaria had finished her ice cream. “But fine, as long as we watch a good movie tonight.”

“Trick question, there are no more good movies.” 

“You’re so negative, I don’t have time for that in my life.” Aquaria rolled her eyes, throwing her empty bowl away. 

“You have nothing but time, don’t lie.” 

-

“You’re literally not listening to anything I say, why am I here again?” 

“To watch a movie later. Pizza. Moral support.” 

“What you really need is a new closet. You’re lucky you’re cute in everything.” 

“Stop being trash to me,” Brianna said, holding up a pair of hot pink pumps. Aquaria nodded, and Brianna placed them back. “Only one dress left, by the way.” 

Brianna held up a long blue dress, different than what she’d normally wear. “The first cute thing I’ve seen since we began.” 

“I hate you.” Brianna placed the dress back, pushing the few clothes she was going to throw out in a corner. “Pizza will be here soon, do you want to pick the movie?”

“Mean girls!” Aquaria ran downstairs before Brianna could stop her.

Brianna opened the door to get the pizza, joining Aquaria on the couch as she started the movie. It didn’t take Brianna very long to lose interest in the movie and lay down in Aquaria’s lap, making her heart flutter. 

Aquaria’s hand moved gently through Brianna’s hair. “Are you wiping your grease hands in my hair?” 

“What? I’m petting you.” 

Brianna smiled. “If I have to take a shower tonight, I’m killing you.” 

“I could always join, help you clean your hair faster.” 

“You pervert.” 

“You’re older.” 

Brianna and Aquaria just smiled at each other for a while. Then, Brianna watched the movie again. “Do you want to stay over? It’s already dark anyway.” 

“Sure, do you have something I can wear?” 

“Trash or acceptable?” Brianna teased, using the words Aquaria had used to describe the not fancy part of her closet. 

“I can make anything look hot,” Aquaria winked at Brianna, her hand still in her hair. 

“Of course you can,” Brianna just had to roll her eyes. “Delusional,” Brianna said in between coughs. 

“You’re mean,” Aquaria pouted. “What have I done to you?” 

“Breathing would be the start, making me watch Mean Girls again is a close second.” 

Aquaria just gaped at her friend before playfully hitting her arm. “Where on the list does ‘having an amazing ass’ go?” 

“Probably like the sixth place.” 

“I can live with that.” 

They watched the movie again, before Brianna just had to fall asleep, making Aquaria roll her eyes, even though she thought it was adorable. 

“Bri,” she whispered, her hand caressing her face. “Come, let’s go to bed.” 

Brianna groaned, rolling around in Aquaria’s lap. “Please,” Aquaria whined. “Just a few minutes. Then you can go to sleep again.” 

Brianna opened her eyes, sighing and gently rubbing them. “Couldn’t you carry me like the strong princess you are?” 

“I can’t even lift a bag of air, what am I going to lift you?” 

“Point made,” Brianna yawned, getting up. She walked to her bedroom, followed closely by Aquaria. Brianna threw a fluffy pajama decorated with pink cats. Brianna got dressed in shorts and a sweater, looking adorable. 

“Hey, Bri,” Aquaria whispered as they were in bed. Sharon a bed wasn’t even awkward anymore, they’d spend enough time together to know that they could easily sleep in the same bed. It didn’t feel weird or awkward anymore. 

“You told me I could sleep. Liar.” There was just a hint of a whine, and it was hard to do anything else but let her sleep. 

Aquaria chuckled. She has waited for months, she could wait one more night. It was probably for the best as well. “Can you wake me up when you get up?” 

“Did you think I was going to let you sleep? Fool.” 

“I’m lucky to have such a generous friend.” With that, Aquaria switcher the light off, soon drifting asleep. It had been a long night, after all. 

-

Aquaria gasped loudly, jumping up. “What the frick!” 

Brianna was laughing, and laughed even louder when she heard Aquaria. “You say ‘frick’? Doesn’t your mommy let you swear?” 

“Did you splash water on me?” Aquaria wipes over her face, feeling what she hoped was water. “What the actually frick?!” 

“You asked me to wake you up, or am I wrong?” Brianna was utterly amused. 

“You couldn’t whisper sweet things in my ear, kissed my face, I don’t know, pulled the blanket off. Literally anything but this.” 

“If it helps,” Brianna threw a towel at the younger brunette. “I already prepared everything for waffles.” 

“I mean, that does help.” Aquaria dried her face, pulling her shirt off. Brianna turned around, an awkward blush on her face. 

“What? Can’t handle this bod?” Aquaria chuckled, putting her shirt from the day before back on. “Besides, it’s your fault your pajama is wet now.” 

She threw the wet blouse to Brianna, who easily caught it. “I don’t regret a thing,” Brianna smiled, placing it on her desk. “Could you clean the strawberries, please?” 

“Sure,” Aquaria said, starting to feel anxious. She had planned this conversation for a while, but that didn’t make it easier. “Are you making some with chocolate chips?” 

“Obviously.” Brianna smiled, walking downstairs as Aquaria followed her closely. 

The two girl worked in silence, but morning television was playing in the background. Aquaria cleaned the strawberries as Brianna baked waffles, humming a song that Aquaria didn’t recognize. 

“Bri,” Brianna hummed in response, skillfully turning the waffles around without breaking them. “Nevermind.” Aquaria was ready to confess everything to her, but in that very moment, looking so focused and flawless, she couldn’t. The thing was that Aquaria wasn’t the best at expressing her feelings, especially not when her legs felt like jelly. 

“Aquaria, what’s going on?” Brianna turned around, placing the last waffles on a plate. “You’ve always been weird but this is strange, even for you.” 

“I should probably be offended, shouldn’t I?” 

“Only if it’s true,” Brianna frowned, but Aquaria played it off as if nothing was even bothering her. Aquaria placed the bowl of strawberries on the table, smiling at her friend. 

“Come on, cold waffles aren’t half as good.” Brianna sighed, bringing the waffles back to the table. 

In silence, they ate. It would be uncomfortable, but it wasn’t. Not really. Aquaria was nervous, but she couldn’t tell Brianna how she felt until the dishes were done. If it went horribly wrong, at least Brianna would be in a clean house. 

Aquaria dried the plates and put them away as Brianna was humming again. When the sink was empty, Aquaria took a deep breath. 

“Bri,” Aquaria breathed out. “Can we talk, just quickly, please?” 

“So you are going to tell me what’s been eating you,” Brianna smiled. 

“Well,” She sighed. “I know that it could go horribly wrong, but nothing is as bad as not knowing.” Aquaria took a last deep breath. “Brianna, I like you a lot. Like- uhm, I’m in love with you, probably. Not like, friendship but romantically, if it wasn’t clear.” 

Brianna’s face was blank, there was nothing Aquaria could read from her face. She opened her mouth, her face not moving. Then, she closed it again. The silence was almost deafening. 

“Aquaria-” Was the only thing that came out after a few minutes. Then, an agonizing pause followed, Brianna’s face moving into an apologetic look. 

All the hope Aquaria had had, no matter how little, vanished. “No,” She whispered, stopping Brianna from possibly adding anything. “I know. I know you don’t like me like that. It’s fine, really. I understand. I just- I don’t want you to-“ She took a deep breath, stopping herself before she went too far. “I’m going to leave now, don’t worry about me, okay?” 

Aquaria grabbed her coat from the chair, walking to the door. “You don’t have a car,” Brianna whispered. Aquaria wished she would have said something different. Stopped her. Kissed her. 

“I’m going to walk,” Aquaria didn’t turn around, not wanting to show her teary eyes. “I need a walk.” 

“But it’s at least half an hour.” 

“Don’t worry, okay?” Aquaria sniffed. “I’ll… I’ll text you.” She probably wasn’t going to text her. Brianna did say anything else, she didn’t move. 

When Aquaria closed the door, she couldn’t contain her tears anymore. There was no reason to do so, anyway. So the tears rolled over her cheeks, making streaks in her once flawless makeup as she began the long walk to her home. 

-

“Hey,” Aquaria looked up from her glass, frowning. She wouldn’t know who would talk to her. “Look, this is going to sound creepy, but you’ve been sitting here for three days, drinking water and looking extremely sad. Are you okay?” 

The woman who spoke to her had big blue eyes, shoulder length blonde hair and an adorable smile. Aquaria had seen her before, the past days that she had been sitting in the small restaurant, the woman had passed her a few times in her sportswear. 

“I’m fine, don’t worry,” Aquaria smiled, it was a sentence she had been saying a lot these past days. 

“If you don’t want to talk about it that’s fine,” The woman smiled, sitting beside her. “But maybe you want some company. Can I buy you a drink? You look like someone who would enjoy sparkling pineapple strawberry water.” 

“That sounds disgusting.” 

“It’s interesting,” The woman waved at a passing employee. “You’ll like it.” 

Aquaria couldn’t help but smile. It did sound interesting. “Not to be rude,” Aquaria crossed her legs, smiling. “But who are you?” 

“I’m Katya,” She smiled a bright smile. “I’m. The yoga teacher from upstairs.” 

“You teach yoga?” Aquaria couldn’t help but be surprised. “You’re like, really flexible then.” 

Katya raised her eyebrows. “Look, I didn’t mean it like that.” Aquaria quickly said, but Katya was already laughing. 

“Are you sure?” Katya wiggled her eyebrows playfully. The employee returned with Aquaria’s drink. 

Under Katya’s amused smile, Aquaria took a sip. “It tastes really bad.” Aquaria frowned, hoping she would forget the taste soon. Wow, I’ve never had something this bad.” 

Katya laughed, loudly yet without a sound as her hands moved around. Aquaria was surprised by her laugh, but couldn’t help but find it contagious. 

“Has anyone told you your laugh is funny?” Aquaria said, giggling. 

“They said it was stupid,” Katya said, regaining her breath. “But funny? Yes.” 

Aquaria chuckled. “They’re definitely right.” For a second, Aquaria forgot all about Brianna. She forgot how much her heart was hurting. 

She didn’t know how long they talked. She didn’t know how many times she had sipped from her horrible drink, cringing and making Katya laugh. She was a blessing to be around, funny, nice and beautiful. 

“You know, you should come to my class Saturday afternoon,” Katya said, smiling. “It’s a beginners class. If you dress cute you get a free lesson.” 

“Expect me there in my cutest fitness wear, then.” Aquaria smiled. She was excited to see Katya around. She was fun, and made her laugh just as hard as Brianna did. Besides, she needed some new friends.


	2. Cool bro, let's fist bump now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awww, it's the last chapter! I love it a lot, even though it's kinda sad and long? I hope you're going to enjoy it as well! let me know what you think? I hope you have a lovely day/evening!

After Aquaria had left, Brianna had been lonely. She had been sad, and had waited for a text from Aquaria. Of course, there never came one. Brianna understood that, if it had been her in Aquaria’s shoes, she wouldn’t have texted herself either.

The longer Brianna thought about it - she happened to think about it a lot, rethinking everything she should’ve done differently - she started to feel more like an asshole. After just three days, she hated herself for how she had treated her friend. Sure, she knew Aquaria might’ve liked her more than just friends before, but everything changed when she actually said it. 

She felt like an asshole for not even daring to text her. She hated herself because she froze, in that moment. She felt bad for everything that happened that morning. 

Luckily for her, Monét was a listening ear, someone who rubbed her shoulder as Brianna talked about it, while watching that stupid movie, that made her think about Aquaria even more. Neither Monét nor Brianna were watching Mean Girls, and the sound of the movie made Brianna remember Aquaria only more. 

She missed her friend more than she would’ve thought. The blonde had never thought about how much time they spent together, about how many hours they spent texting each other and how many nights Aquaria stayed over. It hadn’t been more than a week, and Brianna already felt like she had lost a piece of herself. 

But Monét was there for her. She always had been, even though she was a busy woman. “Girl,” Monét said for the thousandths time that day. “Just call her. Text her. I don’t know, stop complaining. Don’t beat yourself up about it, alright?” 

That’s easy for you to say,” Brianna scoffed, pulling her blanket up. “I miss her. And it’s my fault she left.” 

“You’re acting as if she’s dead,” Monét pushed herself up from her comfortable position to look at her friend. “She’s not. You hurt her, yeah, but she’ll get over it. She’ll find someone who is in love with her. You’ve seen her, she’s stunning. She’ll be alright.” 

Brianna frowned at the television screen, even though she wasn’t paying attention. The thought of Aquaria getting close to someone else wasn’t her favorite thing to do. She knew that she was jealous, it was something she had been teased for very often, but she didn’t know that she would be jealous of someone she didn’t know, spending time with Aquaria. It was probably the fact that she missed her friend a lot, but it still made her frown. 

“Monét,” Brianna said after a few moments of silence. “Do you think we could get the group together for a small get-together?” 

“What were you thinking about?” Monét sounded as if she was about to fall asleep, which wasn’t strange, since it was about two am. 

“I don’t know, maybe we could eat something, go to the mall, go swimming, I don’t know.” 

“We can try,” Monét yawned. “We can try tomorrow.” 

Brianna chuckled, agreeing. “Right, go back to sleep, you old lady.” 

-

It had been hard, setting a date, but eventually, the girl had found a date that worked for almost everyone. Brianna had been nervous, because Aquaria would be there, and they hadn’t talked since Aquaria had left. Brianna didn’t remember how many times she’d nearly send a text, but she never knew what to say. In the end, all that she typed had been ‘I miss you’, at the most random times of the day. 

Monét was talking about something, but Brianna wasn’t listening, she was preparing a monologue to tell Aquaria. She had stayed up all night, writing down everything she felt and trying to make a clear message out of it, but all she got was: ‘I’m stupid, you’re my friend and I miss you. Please come back’ and that wouldn’t be enough. 

Aquaria was already sitting on the bench, her legs crossed as she was texting someone, and the knot in Brianna’s stomach tightened when she saw her. She looked the same as she did before; flawless. 

“Don’t worry, it’ll be okay,” Monét touched Brianna’s shoulder, smiling at her friend and waking her from her trance. “Hey, girl!” Monét walked up to Aquaria, beginning some small talk, and Brianna felt bad for the other girl. Aquaria wasn’t the best at small talk, not even with her friends. 

Brianna bit her lip, careful not to look at Aquaria. She didn’t know how the brunette would act around her, after all. However, she didn’t have to say more than two words before The Vixen, Blair, Vanessa and Monique arrived, with Kameron trailing behind them. 

The tension that was resting over the three girls, seemed to loosen up with the arrival of the new girls. Small talk about how they’ve been soon consumed everyone, and Brianna was relieved when Blair talked to her about how she was going to go away for the weekend with The Vixen, while Kameron linked their arms together and they marched into the mall as crazy teenage girls.

Brianna would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy herself, even though she was very tense. The fact that Aquaria could talk to her any second made her anxious, because she liked to be prepared. She liked to know what there was going to be said. 

That’s why it came as a surprise to both herself and Monét when she started slowing down, walking next to Aquaria. 

“Hey,” Brianna smiled at Aquaria, who seemed shocked, most of all. “Pretty popular?” Aquaria’s phone had been buzzing every few minutes, and Brianna couldn’t stop herself from being just a little curious. 

“Oh,” It was as if they were strangers. “Yeah, Katya likes sending me pictures and random messages whenever, really.” 

“Katya, huh?” Brianna smiled, looking at the ground of the mall. She had never heard of Katya before. “A new friend?” 

“Yeah, I guess so.” Aquaria rubbed her arm, a sign that she felt slightly uncomfortable, and Brianna couldn’t help but feel bad about that. She wanted to say a lot of things; how she was wrong and wanted nothing more than hold Aquaria again and laugh as they watched Mean Girls again. She wanted her annoying friend back. 

“Aquaria,” Brianna didn’t know where she was going with her speech, but it didn’t seem to matter anyway. Aquaria didn’t look at her, and just moments after Brianna could hear her own heartbreaking, Blair and Monét lead them in a small restaurant. At the table, Aquaria sat away as far as possible from Brianna, and Brianna could see the pain in the brunette’s eyes. 

-

“You know,” Blair was smiling, even though not everyone was paying attention to her. “We should do this more often.” 

“I agree,” Monique nodded, looking up from her phone. “I would love that.” 

“Yeah, sure,” Vanessa said, and The Vixen shrugged. Aquaria nodded just slightly, and Brianna noticed how she was watching her. Even though they all agreed, Brianna knew it would take months before they would be able to hang out again. They had been friends for what felt like ages, and Brianna didn’t even remember how they became friends, but that wasn’t important. 

The large group of girls began to say their goodbyes, hugging, smiling and promising to call later. Monét nudged Brianna, nodding towards Aquaria who was standing alone. “Go now, or you won’t have a chance.” 

Brianna knew Monét was right, so, after a deep breath, she walked towards her possible ex-friend. 

“Aquaria,” The younger girl seemed surprised, but she’d been surprised whenever she saw Brianna look at her. “Can we please talk? It’s needed.” 

Aquaria didn’t show any emotion, which was uncommon, but nodded. “Sure, can we go outside, though?” 

And so, Brianna and Aquaria walked outside, by the small pond that was right outside the mall. Aquaria didn’t say a word, waiting for Brianna to begin. What should she say? What was there to say? 

“Aquaria,” Brianna said her name again, just to make sure the younger girl knew she was serious. “I’m so sorry. I know I hurt you, I understand that you hate me-” 

“That’s the thing,” Aquaria rarely interrupted Brianna, but now, during an important speech, she did. “You don’t understand at all. I don’t hate you. How could I? I’m in love with you, Brianna. I’m just hurt, and seeing you isn’t helping.” 

Brianna looked at her feet, they had stopped walking at one point. “I miss you,” She whispered. “I miss you a lot, and if I could do anything to not have hurt you, know that I would go back and do it right, Aquaria.” 

“But you can’t.” The thing that made it all worse was that Aquaria didn’t seem mad, or angry. She was just sad. “And even if you would’ve said something else, you aren’t in love with me. And in the end, I’m glad you hurt me now instead of later.”

Brianna bit her lip, she understood everything Aquaria was saying, but she still missed her friend. “Aquaria-” Maybe she was in love with Aquaria. She had been missing her an awful lot. She had been getting jealous. It was possible. 

“Can I please go home?” When Brianna looked up at Aquaria, she had tears in her eyes. “I’m going to eat dinner at Katya’s place tonight, I don’t want to ruin my mood even more.” 

“I’m sorry,” Brianna said. “Have fun, you deserve it.” And she watched Aquaria walk off yet again, only this time, they were both feeling regret, pain and sorrow. 

-  
“Brianna, grab your bathing suit!” Monét yelled through the phone. “I’m on my way, we’re going swimming.” 

“What?” Brianna said, putting her smoothie back down. 

“Yeah, Blair invited us to go swimming at her place. I texted you.” 

“You didn’t,” Brianna frowned. “But I’m doing nothing, so okay, I guess.” 

Monét laughed. “I’ll be at your place in five, so hurry up!” With that, Monét ended the call and Brianna moved upstairs to change into a cute, pink one piece and tie her hair up. 

Monét was knocking on her door rather quickly, so Brianna just pushed a towel in her bag and shrugged on a beach dress. Monét smiled at her and they got in the car. Even though the silence was filled with small talk, Monét soon asked her about what was going on with Aquaria. She probably guessed something had happened, since the blonde had been more sad and silent than she’d ever been before. 

“It’s nothing, really.” 

“You say that a lot,” Monét pointed out. “You’re smart, but you’re always lying.” 

Brianna looked at her hands, playing with her ring. “We talked. It didn’t help. I get that’s she’s sad but… I am too, if that makes sense.” 

“It does,” Monét said, her voice hard, compared to Brianna’s. “But is that why you’ve been sad?” 

“Monét, would it be weird if I was… in love with Aquaria?” 

“Are you?”

“I don’t know, but I have this feeling. I miss her more than I should, I guess. When she looks at me, I always smile, but when she looked at me at the mall, I wanted to cry. And then there’s-” Brianna stopped herself before she said things she would regret. “Then there’s Katya, when she told me about Katya, I felt… conflicted. Like, it should be me, sending her a lot of texts, pictures, making her smile.” 

“Honey, that sounds like jealousy. I don’t know if you’re in love, but there’s something, and it’s going to explode one day.” 

“I know,” Brianna sighed. “But I hurt her, and I can’t undo that. She’s just nice enough to not yell at me whenever she sees me.” 

“Because she’s in love with you.” 

“Exactly. Which is stupid, really.” 

Monét laughed, reaching for her tiny friends’ hand. “Look, you should just tell her what you feel. She’ll understand. She’s smart. Maybe you can talk it out.” 

“You said that at the mall, too.” Brianna crossed her arms, chuckling. “Look how that turned out.”

“I’m not saying you should follow my advice when it’s about love, okay?” Monét said, driving on Blair’s property. “Do you know whose car that is?” 

“No,” Brianna said. “I know nothing about cars, anyway.” 

Together, they walked to the door, knocking, and greeting Blair, who was wearing a white bikini and a large hat. The sun was warm, that day. 

“Guys! I’m happy you made it! You know the way,” She smiled, letting her friends in. Brianna knew the way to the pool all too well, she had spent most of her summer at Blair’s house, having sleepovers or just swimming in her pool. It had been the best summer of her life. 

Monét was walking in front of her, sliding the glass door in the back open, walking into the sunny garden, the scent of lavender was still as strong, even though it was mixed with a little alcohol. 

“Oh,” Monét stopped, making Brianna bump against her back. 

“What’s wrong?” Monét turned around. 

“Aquaria is here, just so you know.” 

“We can act friendly,” Brianna said, but she wanted to run away, especially after the conversation she had just had. “Let’s not make it more awkward.” 

So, Monét walked outside, greeting the young woman who was sitting on a chair in her red bikini, which looked amazing on her. Brianna could swear she saw Aquaria’s face fall when she walked out. 

“Hey,” She waved. “I have someone I’d like you to meet!” She said, as if she just remembered it, jumping from her chair and waving a woman with a blonde bob over. She was swimming in the pool, and laughed when she saw Aquaria. “This is Katya.” 

“Yes, I’m Katya.” The woman said, pushing herself out of the pool and smiling at the duo. “Sorry, I was hot so I went swimming.” She laughed, dripping from head to toe. There were streaks of mascara under her eyes, and the faint stain of red lipstick was still visible. It wasn’t hard to imagine her without that. She was stunning. 

“Monét and Brianna,” Brianna said, smiling and extending her hand for the woman to shake. Katya looked at Aquaria with a questioning look, and barely visible, Aquaria nodded. 

“I’ve heard a lot about you guys,” Katya said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some swimming to do.” She jumped back in the water, causing water to splash over the girls. It was hard to guess Katya’s age. She could easily be as old as Brianna, but she acted as if she wasn’t older than fifteen. She saw why Aquaria liked her. 

“Aquaria, get in the water with me!” Katya said, resting her head on the edge, batting her eyelashes sweetly at the brunette. 

“As if I trust you enough to get in there,” Aquaria scoffed, pressing her foot against Katya’s hair. “Go back swimming.” 

Katya pushed herself back in the water. “Your loss,” She sing-songed, moving her leg extra hard so some more water landed on Aquaria and Brianna, since Monét had taken a quick step back, but Brianna had been looking at Aquaria, who had been looking at Katya. 

“Well,” Monét said, after a terribly long silence between Aquaria and Brianna. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m going for a swim.” 

“I’m going for a drink, first.” Brianna quickly walked off to Blair, asking for a drink. It was going to be a long day.

-

Brianna had been carefully avoiding going in the pool, since Aquaria was in it. She was pretty sure the younger woman only went in the pool to avoid talking to Brianna. At this point, Brianna was just avoiding admitting her feelings to herself. So why in the hell would she go to Aquaria? Maybe what they had going on now - carefully avoiding her - was the best. 

“Brianna, can you bring me a drink?” Monét said from the edge of the pool, batting her long eyelashes. 

“What? Am I your slave now?” She just happened to see Aquaria flinch, and she remembered that she used to say that to Aquaria, too. 

“Just bring me my drink,” Brianna groaned in annoyance, but being a good friend, she got up and brought the drink to Monét. She didn’t know where Katya came from, or how she didn’t see it happening, but Katya appeared, pushing her in the pool. 

Apparently, Aquaria also had no idea this was going to happen because she wasn’t paying attention, only looking up to see Brianna falling on her. Aquaria could only jump back a little, so Brianna still fell on top of her, causing both the girls to go under. Aquaria’s hands grabbed Brianna’s waist, pulling her up as well. 

Of course Aquaria looked just as good with her hair wet over her back. But Brianna’s mascara was smeared, her hair was all across her face. She wished she was as effortlessly beautiful as Aquaria.

Aquaria chuckled, wiping some of Brianna’s hairs out of her face. “Are you okay?” 

Monét and Katya high fived, laughing hysterically as Blair ran into the house to grab some towels. 

“Yeah,” She coughed, hoping she didn’t swallow too much water. “Sorry for falling on you.” 

“That’s alright,” Aquaria was still trying to get hairs out of Brianna’s face, comfortable around her, for the first time in what felt like forever. “It was hot, anyway.” 

“Thanks for, you know,” Brianna was still standing close to Aquaria, who was a few inches taller than her. “Grabbing me.” Aquaria realized her hand was still on Brianna’s waist, but it felt like it belonged there. 

“I didn’t want you to drown,” She chuckled. “You’re not the best swimmer, after all.” 

Brianna laughed softly, and Aquaria stopped brushing hairs from her face, carefully rubbing her cheeks instead. Probably to get the mascara off. 

“I know this will be the last thing you want to hear,” Brianna brought her voice down to a soft whisper, looking for Aquaria’s eyes. “But-” 

“Here, I have towels,” Blair smiled, holding out fluffy towels, and Aquaria took a step back to gather the towels. 

“This’ll do better,” She nervously chuckled, pushing herself on the edge of the pool, wiping her face dry. She handed Brianna a towel as well, once she was sat on the edge. “What did you want to say?”

The courage Brianna once felt, melted away. “Uhm, never mind, it was nothing, really,” Brianna smiled, but Aquaria narrowed her eyes. 

“Do you want to go…” She pointed to the chairs in the shadow, where currently no one was standing. 

“Oh,” Brianna knew she had to tell it to Aquaria eventually. She couldn’t imagine her staying at Blair’s for much longer, so she could just go if it get awkward. “Sure, why not?” 

Once the two girls were with the chairs, neither of them sat down. “So?” Aquaria couldn’t help but ask after the long silence. 

“Well, the thing is, Aquaria,” There was something about just saying her name that calmed Brianna down. “Maybe my reaction to, you know, wrong.” Aquaria frowned. “Because I realized that, you know, I missed you a lot. More than I’d miss any other friend. And when I thought you and Katya were a thing, or could be, I-” Brianna frowned now too. 

“Well, I guess I was jealous. So, what I mean to say,” Brianna took a deep breath, but Aquaria’s face was already painted with shock. “I guess I do like you. Romantically, I mean. Like, I’m in love with you.” A shaky breath left her lips. “I know I’m an asshole for telling that now, but I really do mean it. I miss you, Aquaria.” 

Aquaria didn’t say anything, and Brianna understood how horrible she must’ve felt after Brianna’s reaction. 

“Please say anything,” Brianna knew that Aquaria wasn’t going to run into her open arms, she knew better than that. 

“I-” Aquaria cleared her throat. “Cool, bro.” Aquaria never said bro. She extended her fist for a fistbump, which Brianna didn’t get, at the time. So, Aquaria let her fist down. 

Without another word, the younger girl walked away, leaving Brianna more confused than ever. Cool, bro. 

-

“Why did you want to leave so suddenly?” Brianna could feel the tears well up, but she wasn’t going to let them fall. 

“No reason.” She held onto the steering wheel with all her might, eyes focussing on the road. Monét knew something had happened, and she knew her tiny friend well enough to not question it anymore, since she was obviously having a hard time. 

“Do you want to stop for food or just go home?” 

“I-” Brianna stopped for a moment, not wanting to cry. Which was surprisingly hard. “I just want to go home, please.” Brianna was driving, even though it was Monét’s car. Their hair was still wet, and they both knew that the seats would be wet when they got out. However, Brianna had been so in shock, that Monét couldn’t refuse when she begged/ordered her to go home. 

“Alright,” Monét softly said, her tone soothing. There really wasn’t much to say, so Monét didn’t say anything. Brianna didn’t say anything, just because she knew, that if she did, she would cry. She knew how Aquaria must have felt. 

When she reached her house, she hopped out of the car, just turning to Monét briefly. “Thanks for asking me, sorry I killed the party.” Before Monét could answer, Brianna was inside the safety of her own house. 

She didn’t want to cry, it wasn’t worth it, after all. Everyone suffered from a broken heart once in awhile, so she knew she’d survive. That didn’t mean it felt good, though. 

But Brianna was a strong woman, and even strong women got hurt. Part of that strength was admitting you were hurt. So just maybe, Brianna wasn’t that strong. Because she told herself everything was alright, even though it obviously wasn’t. 

It would probably have been better if she would have done something, literally anything, but that wasn’t who Brianna was. She decided to sit down, dwelling in self-pity and loathing. The more she thought about it, the more sense it all made, really. Aquaria met Katya, and she fell in love. It wasn’t hard to imagine; Katya was beautiful, and from what she has heard, funny and kind. It was hard hating someone who made Aquaria happy, after all. 

The evening drew closer, but Brianna didn’t feel the need to get up and eat. She didn’t even want to change her clothes, her bathing suit was already dry, anyways. Brianna didn’t know how long she sat there, hating everything before there was a knock on the door. She considered not opening the door at all, but when she did get up, when she did open the door, she was surprised, but also wanted to cry. 

Aquaria was standing in front of her in shorts and a yellow sweater, her hair thrown into a messy bun, which probably took her twenty minutes to perfect. The pink rose in her hand looked a little bit out of place, as if she remembered she needed something in her hands. 

“Hi,” Aquaria smiled, and Brianna noticed she was out of breath. 

“Aquaria? What’re you doing here?” She surprised herself by keeping her voice steady. 

“Aren’t you going to let me in?” She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, chuckling rather nervously. Brianna was frowning, because this wasn’t what she needed right now. But she did have a soft spot for Aquaria, and knew that she wouldn’t be able to deny her anything. 

So, she stepped aside, letting the younger brunette into the place she knew so very well. 

“I probably surprised you, didn’t I?” Right, because saying that was going to make it less awkward. Bit Brianna did smile, because it was the slightly awkward Aquaria she knew and loved. 

“You kinda did,” Brianna confessed. “What are you doing here?” 

“Well,” Aquaria moved uncomfortable to the kitchen, searching for the thin vase she knew Brianna had and filling it with water. “Katya told me I did something stupid.” 

“You mean trying to fist bump me? You didn’t realize that was stupid?” Falling back on something that wasn’t really humor, but also not serious, was Brianna’s way of hiding her feelings, of hoping that Aquaria wouldn’t notice how scared and hurt she was. 

Aquaria flashed her a small smile, putting the rose in the vase and placing it in the table. “To be fair, I was expecting anything but what you said,” Aquaria was awfully close to Brianna now, and she could smell her flowery perfume, the one she wore for special occasions. 

“I guess you have a point.” Brianna tried to not move, frozen when Aquaria didn’t move. IT was as if the roles were switched, for once. 

“But yeah, Katya told me I was stupid, and that I ‘blew my chance to fuck you on the cocktail bar’.” She laughed as she repeated Katya’s words, but Brianna noticed her blush. Brianna was blushed as well, because honestly, that didn’t sound like a bad idea at all. “And I realized she was right.” 

Brianna raised an eyebrow, because even though it did sound tempting, she wasn’t willing to actually do so. 

“No, no,” Aquaria nervously laughed, taking the smallest step back. “I mean that I realized I was stupid.” 

Brianna smiled, biting her lip. “No, it’s okay. I mean, I’m the asshole, really.” 

“Don’t say that,” Aquaria softly said. “Because I came here, with a crappy rose because apparently flower shops close at six,” Brianna laughed as Aquaria dramatically began to talk. “Which is really stupid, by the way. Do you know how many people go on dates after seven? Maybe not the kind of dates where you’d bring flowers, but-” 

“Aquaria,” Brianna said, smiling. “You’re wandering off.” 

“Right,” Aquaria looked at Brianna, and couldn’t help but smile a bright smile. “I came here to ask you out. Because I am still in love with you. I kinda hope you’re still in love with me, too.” 

“Of course I am,” Brianna whispered, taking a step closer to Aquaria, smiling brighter than she ever had. “I told you so a few hours ago.” 

“Oh,” Aquaria grinned. “Is that a yes?” Brianna didn’t know if she was meant to kiss Aquaria or hug her or wait until she moved, so she did what felt right. 

“Absolutely.” She laughed, throwing her arms around the younger girls neck. She felt her face heat up, but she also felt her smile against her shoulder. “I’m so happy you came.” 

“Believe me, I’m happy I came, too.” Aquaria whispered, her lips brushing against Brianna’s cheek, and all she wanted to do was pull the other girl in. 

So, that’s what she did. She moved back just enough to grab Aquaria’s face, stopping herself right before she kissed her. “I can kiss you, right?” 

“How thoughtful of you, thinking about asking it.” She grinned, pulling Brianna closer by her waist, their lips brushing. 

It wasn’t the longest or the best kiss, but at that moment, it felt like everything. They only broke apart because they were smiling during their kiss, happy to finally be together. 

“I would want to do that again, someday.” Brianna chuckled. 

“The feeling is mutual.” Aquaria sheepishly answers, before kissing Brianna again. 

-

“Bri!” Aquaria whined, making Brianna turn around to face the younger girl actually laying on the table. “I hate this, why couldn’t we just meet somewhere?” 

“You hate this? You haven’t even done anything yet,” Brianna smiled, walking over to the table, rubbing her girlfriend’s back. God, she loved that word. “I just asked you to set the table, I’m the one with an oil burn, asshole.” Brianna jokingly said, not stopping her calming hand motion. 

“You burned your hand?” Of course Aquaria would get worried. 

“It’s nothing, really-” 

“Let me see,” Aquaria easily turned over, grabbing Brianna’s arm and searching for a red spot. When she saw it, she dramatically gasped, even though it wasn’t anything special. “You need to hold it under water for like, twenty minutes.” 

“Will you continue cooking and setting the table?” Brianna teased, pulling her arm back. 

“Pff, no,” Aquaria scoffed. “But I will get you a band-aid.” 

“There’s no need-” Aquaria wasn’t one who actually listened to her, but it was kind of cute at times like this. Besides, she knew that Katya wouldn’t hate them if the food was done a little later. 

Katya was bringing her girlfriend over, and from all that Brianna had heard, she was wonderful. 

“Here you go,” Aquaria came in the room, running, and nearly slipping because she was only wearing yellow socks with pink cats on them. She had a small box of band-aids, taking one, expecting Brianna to hold her arm out. And that was exactly what she did. “Dino band-aids, aren’t they cute?” 

Aquaria smiled happily at the stupid band-aid, peeling the protective papers off. Brianna had never admired someone more. Aquaria flashed her girlfriend a smirk before quickly kissing the burn and pressing the band-aid down. “A t-rex.” 

Brianna rolled her eyes, the band-aid didn’t even cover the whole burn, but it was cute, she had to admit. “You’re an idiot, you know that, right?” 

“As long as you like this idiot,” Aquaria pointed to herself, and Brianna quickly kissed her. 

“I do. But you still have to set the table.” 

Aquaria loudly groaned. “Didn’t my cuteness distract you?” 

“Not really, I’m becoming immune, I guess.” Brianna chuckled, stirring in the pot of sauce again. That was a lie, and they both knew it. 

Aquaria brushed past her to gather a few glasses, kissing Briann’s cheek as she passed her again. It were things like that, that made Brianna blush as if her first girlfriend had tried to hold hands again. She felt young again. Not that she was that old, but she felt like a nervous teenager all over again. Just more pleasant, really. 

The sauce was about done when The doorbell rang, and Brianna jumped up from where she was standing. “Do you want to open the door?” 

“Can we do it together? Like in the movies?” 

“Like in the cringy movies,” Brianna said with a smile. “But sure, I’m just going to let them know that it was your idea.” 

Aquaria rolled her eyes and started walking to the door. “They’ll know that I’m the cute one, then,” She flashed Brianna a bright, happy smile before blowing an air kiss and opening the door.

Brianna had a stupid smile on her face, just from seeing and being with Aquaria. “Hey, Katya,” Aquaria was the one to begin the conversation. 

“You must be Juju, right?” Brianna was surprised she remembered her name. The girl was quite short, a little taller than Brianna. The woman smiled a bright smile. 

“In fact, I am,” She had an adorable laugh. “Brianna or Aquaria?” 

“Brianna,” She laughed. 

“But sometimes she wished she was me,” Aquaria said with a teasing smile. 

“Oh, my god,” Brianna said. “Please come in, before she embarrasses herself even more.” 

Katya laughed loudly, and Brianna saw how Juju took her hand as they walked inside. “Do you want anything to drink?” It was always awkward, having someone over for the first time. 

“We bought great wine,” Aquaria said with a wink to Katya, who was a close friend now. “I know because I have tasted it.” 

“You opened the bottle before we arrived? You’re a whore, Aquaria.” Katya laughed, shaking her head. 

“You opened the bottle?!” Brianna didn’t know this. 

“On accident!” Aquaria defended herself. 

“Sure, I know all about it,” Juju said with a chuckle. “Just wanted to make sure it tasted good, am I right?” 

“She gets me!” Aquaria pointed at Juju, and Brianna slapped her hand down, rolling her eyes. 

“Just get the wine, Aquaria.” 

“She’s tiring, I’m guessing?” 

“Girl,” Brianna sighed. “You have no idea.” 

The dinner passed surprisingly fast, Juju turned out to be hilarious, and Katya seemed to blush a lot around her. Katya turned out to like holding hands under the table a lot. It really did feel like they were teenagers again. 

When Katya and Juju left, Aquaria let out a sigh. “Don’t get me wrong,” She wrapped her arms around Brianna. “I love Katya, and Juju is actually amazing, but I’m happy they’re gone now.” 

“Is that because you were making a fool of yourself, or because you want to spend time with me?” Brianna grinned, letting Aquaria turn out of her embrace. 

“Probably both,” Aquaria chuckled, spinning back to her blonde girlfriend with a bright smile as she pressed a quick kiss to her lips. 

“Great! You can help with the dishes!” Brianna playfully pushed Aquaria away, moving to the sink. 

Aquaria groaned. “But why?” She was so whiny. “I hate that, I will clean any room but not kitchen stuff!” 

“You do know that you’re a complete bitch if you won’t help me?” Brianna put the first plate in the warm water. 

“What if I hug you from behind?” Brianna could hear her slip closer on her stupid socks. Brianna couldn’t help but smile a little. 

“Nope,”

“Shut up, I can feel you smile,” Aquaria mumbled against Brianna’s neck. “I love you.” 

“You’re just saying that so I’ll get all soft and you don’t have to work.” Brianna chuckled. 

“True, but I also really do love you.” She gently kissed Brianna’s neck. 

“I love you, too, Aquaria.” Brianna quickly turned around, grabbing Aquaria’s face with her wet hands, smearing the soap over her face. “But this is what you get for not helping me with the dishes.” 

Aquaria softly yelled in surprise, jumping back and nearly slipping. “Bri!” 

Brianna was laughing, mostly at the face Aquaria was making. “You’re adorable.” 

“No way that I’m going to help you now,” She huffed, sticking her tongue out. 

“Don’t pretend you were planning to actually help,” Brianna chuckled, turning back around and finishing the dishes up. “You said it yourself, you hate kitchen stuff.” 

“You’re definitely right,” Aquaria said. “So I’ll go and watch Mean Girls.” 

“Without me? Wow, I can’t believe you.” She actually couldn’t believe how Aquaria could still enjoy that movie after ten million times. 

Aquaria returned just quickly for a kiss. “I still love you, don’t worry.” She smiled, and Brianna couldn’t help but smile as well and watch the younger girl walk back to watch Mean Girls. 

God, she loved her girlfriend so much.


End file.
